I had the great pleasure of staying two months with Roman and his mother since my parents had the gall to move before the end of my Junior Year. I had my own room and generally, it was a pretty nice deal. My girlfriend at the time was a petite and beautiful punk gal who I got the chance to re-date again in 1993.

One of the greatest challenges as a high school student is finding places to be alone. The backseat of the car worked most of the time but since my parents had fled to Maine, I was car-less. My only option was the short time between the end of school and when Mrs. T would come home, so we would lock ourselves into the room. I would crank up the Soundtrack to CONAN THE BARBARIAN or ZANADU and romance would ensue. Why this didn't sit well with Roman is uncertain but I assume it is because boredom would set in for him about 10 minutes upon getting home and he would begin to bang on the door. "Come on guys, let me in."

After a few adjustments, we would unlock the door and he would bound in, a huge smile on his face, like a puppy finally being let in. One time though, he sprung across the room and sat down on the bed, his hands resting back on the bed to balance himself. His smile quickly faded away as he quickly pulled up his hand and looked at it, his eye wide in horror. "What is that!" he gasped. I responded, "I spilled a drink there." He paused then frantically looked around. "What drink! Where is the drink! There is no can! There is no glass!"

We had no answers and we knew that he was doomed. With a blood curdling shriek, he ran out of the room to begin the long process of cleaning which involved steel wool pads, industrial soap, and lots of scrubbing. In a somewhat unrelated incident, I was unlucky to see some ghetto gang initiation pulled on Roman in San Diego. Someone left a full and tied off used condom on his patio fence. Roman used dishwasher gloves, a smock, and a full roll of a cleaning paper towels to remove the offending bio-hazard. He was forced once again to go through an elaborate scrubbing routine, similar to what Meryl Streep went through in SILKWOOD


Comments are closed.